Sunday, January 10, 2010

Cabin Fever to OCD

Our led tealights on our INDOOR windowsil !

Hello all! I hope 2010 is treating you all well. Our 2010 has been somewhat interesting in good and bad ways. I myself have discovered cabin fever and wow it may be the weirdest fever I've ever had! It also brought some demons from the past roaring out. In my teens I was diagnosed with OCD obsessive compulsive disorder. The movie "As good as it gets" stars Jack Nicholson as a person who suffers(I hate the word suffers) from the disorder. His is different from mine where he has to open, close or lock doors a certain amount of times. My disorder deals with cleanliness, and I'm the type who becomes obsessed with cleaning, over planning and confirming things over and over again. I haven't used medication for it for 11 years now. I found the cleaning, the planning and in general making sure certain things were in order was a benefit to me. I stopped being medicated because at the time I thought the world was over medicated. This past week I've felt the frustration that comes with OCD, like when you do something but you don't know that you've done it right so you do it over again...well I do it over and over again until I'm tired, exhausted and mentally frustrated. Add the stress of holidays without friends and family, planning a wedding and my daily ritual of cleaning and I was a mess. Which only brought Special K and I to a war of the roses routine. After speaking to friends and family we went and met with a counsellor and a doctor, who found that the stress of moving here and all the other stress that goes along with it had brought my disorder out. I have kept this disorder a secret from most of my friends and family but now I'm sharing it just so you can see the negatives and the positives of my move to Nunavut. I can't really classify this as a negative, as I just don't see it that way. I like having a clean house, and I like things in order. I'm already feeling better as we have started to slowly switch to a new medication, which actually allows me to sleep!!! Yes a solid 8 hours of sleep! Wacky dreams do follow and that is an entirely different blog....but I'm glad because I don't feel as tense or as frustrated as I've been feeling. We had my birthday party here last night and it was nice to hang out with our closest friends in Cambridge Bay and I baked a black forest cake which turned out better than I thought it would! I took a few pics but I forgot to pull out the camera until the end of the night. Anyways heres a few pics...

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